Well - here we go, swine flu is all over the news. After avian flu, we are on swine. Great.
Mind you, would not be surprised if I caught it (no, am NOT a hypochondriac. I now a few people who do better than me on that).
But - let's face it. Cheezy Hubby does not descend from monkeys. Clearly not. He proved it again yesterday. He descends from Pigs. Please please please, never let MotherInLaw read this - she already thinks I underfeed him (another proof he is a pig, he eats anything, so no wonder he looks underfed on fine Nigella Lawson Express Dinners - well he thinks they are). Anyway - last night, he cleared the kitchen so that I could do some work (well - that's the point of a working mum - work, tidy and clean all in one at home). So - as he was exhausted from being Mr Muscle in the kitchen (although not much cleaning was involved as I found out), he went to snore early (another proof he does not descend from monkeys. Ever heard that monkeys snore?? but what about pigs??) I finally finished work (ok -involving a bit of online shopping too), got to the kitchen, to discover that clearing up meant: eating all that left - all my batch cooking. Brilliant. Theory proved.
Tomorrow night - he is in charge. Let's hope the house does not turn into a pigstye. I am out. Hitting town. With quite a few of us from work, so will need to behave (fat chance). Unlike last time - which was not with work, but for work. I know - even worse and even more reasons to behave. So was going to a pre-dinner drinks / talk about crisis PR. Really interesting - met loads of great people, most of whom I have not got a clue who they were. But had one of those great 'Bridget Jones' moment. Trust me to create my own crisis... Was introduced to Mr DontYouKnowWhoIamIworkForABigOrganisation. Well - so what do you do? He goes: I am marketing communication and business development manager for the development of audiences and opportunities among the native himalayan in north East Yorkshire who have moved back home. I went- Sooooooooooooo, that's sound great! (Big silence - and there is nothing you can explain about it to me??!) so I go - and what really does that mean? (what i was really thinking was, what the F*** does this t*** does and where the hell do I go from here). Never got an answer. Pretended then to go and get another glass... Here we go Bridget!
Another evening coming our way is Mamma Mia evening -did I blog about this already?? can't remember. Anyway - got the outfit in the post. 2 solutions: lose 2 stones in 10 days (yeah, in my dreams), send back the dress (no time) or wear it and hope everyone is drunk before the evening start. Clearly they can't have all been that skinny in the 70s. I know it was flower power, but still... Even Fille Ainee and Tinker Bell looked at me in completely bewildered - you are not going to wear THAT, are you?? not in front of other school parents?? Response - what about I wear jeans with it? well..... so the conversation stopped there. Clearly Marge Simpson was more attracive to them at that point. They actually did not think it was a dress. More like a cropped t-shirt. But hey, what would they know about the 70s. (and what do I know about it??!)
Promised to share some recipes by the way - go for carrot cake. It's is simply yummy. And Fat Free (well - it never hurts to say it and who cares, noone will check).
Trust me, I tried it, you cant' fail it: http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/3229/yummy-scrummy-carrot-cake
Suddenly feel a bit cold and sore throat's coming my way. It can't be the flu, can it?
Oink.
Wednesday 29 April 2009
Monday 27 April 2009
good morning sometimes confuses her...
note to self:
1- write on blog more often. But when?!!
2- ditch Nigella Lawson. Just watched her Nigella Express latest. F*** me. Her pantry is the size of our lounge. Actually size of the whole house... no wonder why she manages to decide that, oops, she can't sleep and what she really really wants right now is pudding. So you see her, at 11.00 at night, in her silky gown, going downstairs to cook - and not just toast and margarine. No Pudding with real full fat butter. Next day - on the phone: 'yes no problem darling, why don't you come for lunch' and then tells you calmly, after putting the phone down that she was on phone to a couple of friends and invited them for lunch. So she will cook a full blown roast in 10 min. Yes, you are right. Ditch her. That kind of person trully can't be a friend.
Watching now Hell's kitchen. At least Ade is not taking himself seriously. Thanks God, given what they cook looks not that great. Mind you - still better than what I would do at 11.00 at night, if I suddenly felt that I was hungry and wanted a lemon drizzle cake (see post number 2 for recipe)
3- Next time there is an evening at school, don't try and think it would be a good idea to go and dress up. All the other mums are dead skinny, spending their time at the gym (how much time is that?!). So I now need to lose 2 stones in 2 weeks (definitely ditch Nigella and the full fat butter), so that I can fit in that skinny 70s dress that I just received. Verdict from the children and Not-So-Lovely-Cheezy-Hubby: can't you wear some kind of jeans or leggins with it? is that a dress? thought it was a t-shirt. Cropped t-shirt even??
4- Next time there is an evening at school - don't try and think it would be fun to dress Lovely-Cheezy-Hubby in a flowery shirt (he has not seen it yet), a pair of shorts and flip flops. Please, please, make sure it does not rain on that evening. I stopped short of getting a 118-118 wig...
5- sentence of the week: Ade Edmondson about Linda Evans: Frankly, sometimes, 'good morning' confuses her. I could apply to........... so many people. Loved it though.
Anyway - enough confusion for today. Good morning.
1- write on blog more often. But when?!!
2- ditch Nigella Lawson. Just watched her Nigella Express latest. F*** me. Her pantry is the size of our lounge. Actually size of the whole house... no wonder why she manages to decide that, oops, she can't sleep and what she really really wants right now is pudding. So you see her, at 11.00 at night, in her silky gown, going downstairs to cook - and not just toast and margarine. No Pudding with real full fat butter. Next day - on the phone: 'yes no problem darling, why don't you come for lunch' and then tells you calmly, after putting the phone down that she was on phone to a couple of friends and invited them for lunch. So she will cook a full blown roast in 10 min. Yes, you are right. Ditch her. That kind of person trully can't be a friend.
Watching now Hell's kitchen. At least Ade is not taking himself seriously. Thanks God, given what they cook looks not that great. Mind you - still better than what I would do at 11.00 at night, if I suddenly felt that I was hungry and wanted a lemon drizzle cake (see post number 2 for recipe)
3- Next time there is an evening at school, don't try and think it would be a good idea to go and dress up. All the other mums are dead skinny, spending their time at the gym (how much time is that?!). So I now need to lose 2 stones in 2 weeks (definitely ditch Nigella and the full fat butter), so that I can fit in that skinny 70s dress that I just received. Verdict from the children and Not-So-Lovely-Cheezy-Hubby: can't you wear some kind of jeans or leggins with it? is that a dress? thought it was a t-shirt. Cropped t-shirt even??
4- Next time there is an evening at school - don't try and think it would be fun to dress Lovely-Cheezy-Hubby in a flowery shirt (he has not seen it yet), a pair of shorts and flip flops. Please, please, make sure it does not rain on that evening. I stopped short of getting a 118-118 wig...
5- sentence of the week: Ade Edmondson about Linda Evans: Frankly, sometimes, 'good morning' confuses her. I could apply to........... so many people. Loved it though.
Anyway - enough confusion for today. Good morning.
Wednesday 15 April 2009
Pamela (anderson), Julian (Clerry), the Pope, a ring, a few pizzas and easter eggs...
Wahoo, what an Easter weekend!!
All started on Thursday evening - went to the hairdresser. Don't you just like it when you are going to pay £xxx (ie - far too much) and the hairdresser actually tells you what colour you should have, and which one (s) you should not. So my suggestion that I would like some red (ish) highlights was met with a no - blond is THE colour.
So Lovely-Hairdresser-From-Hell (but specialised in colour) turns me into Pamela Anderson (shame - without the adds on, said Lovely Cheezy Hubby), while she's getting me drunk.
"Given the price you paid, they could have added caviar and a few adds-on (stupid ref to Pamela...)"
Thanks Darling, why don't you just go and pack your suitcase. That will be slightly more helpful. (hint)
Mind you - Lovely Hairdresser from Hell is not as bad as one of my friend's who decided that on the day she had an appointment, 'no, I won't cut your hair today, it's not right'. (voice over - Julian Clary- location: push Surrey town). So she left the hairdresser, without a haircut but a new bottle of shampoo costing her £100. A big one she said (at that price, I buy a few big bottles...)
Anyway - next day, off to Rome, mid afternoon.
So turned up at Gatwick early (you never know, the plane could decide to take off early, before deciding to be highjacked, and then deciding to run out of fuel, and then to explode above the mountains, and then deciding to re-materialise before landing safely - thank God). You get a picture of the state of mind
Had lunch at the SeaFood bar (no room at any other inn - what a good excuse!! to spend a few more £££, I know). Brilliant waiter - a bit like 'the Godfather': same accent, a good 40 years younger. Anyway - was Sicilian. That explains about the Godfather. Sat down next to Sharon Stone (Ok - look a like, but blimey, she looked good for her age). She was off to Palma.
Then off on the plane (decided not to do any of the above: ie, was on time, did not get highjacked or anything, which was a bonus). What a laugh when we got on the plane - Julian Clary was the pilot, his brother the copilot and his cousin the stewart. I swear, nothing to do with the few glasses from the Seafood bar, nor the G&Ts on the plane (after all the trip was to celebrate Cheezy-Lovely-Hubby's new decade. And no, he is not 30, whatever he thinks).
A split second before we are ordered to switch off phones otherwise the radars of the plane will go wrong and we will end up in Vladivostok or crash on the Himalaya, the phone rings. Super-Friend-From-Manchester-But-Who-Lives-Down-South (now she knows who she is!!!) on the phone: Other-Half -to-be finally proposed!!!! brilliant, made my week end. I expect in a few years time she will be writing a 'working mum blog, inlcudijng outlaws and inlaws, Lovely-Cop-Hubby and so on', which I'll enjoy reading while I would have moved on to 'a-guide-on-how-to-live-with-teenagers'.
Won't bore you with all the details about Rome, but in a nutshell: Brilliant time - Vatican City (did not see the Pope, apparently he was busy praying for all of us, bless him, as long as he prays for the right things). Plus his special audiences are on Wednesdays (says the tourist guide. With another 5,000 people. Cool).
Anyway - saw the best ever paintings, statues and everything. Probably enough money there to solve the current crisis. But what do I know.
Anyway (2) - all I'd say is that by the end of the week end, I looked like a pizza-stuffed-Pamela-Anderson (blond as ever, so now working on the Essex accent, and if you imagine a pile of pizzas the size of Big Ben - well - that's what I ate the whole week end...)
Anyway (3) went to the best restaurant ever, with Marcello Mastroiani as the waiter. Showed us proudly the pictures from his 2 kids - Omar (after Omar Sharif) and Rachida (did not say from who). Told us we were his best friends, and he was from Egypt. I told him I was Sophia Loren and Cheezy-Lovely-Hubby was Pierce Brosnan. Isn't he???
All started on Thursday evening - went to the hairdresser. Don't you just like it when you are going to pay £xxx (ie - far too much) and the hairdresser actually tells you what colour you should have, and which one (s) you should not. So my suggestion that I would like some red (ish) highlights was met with a no - blond is THE colour.
So Lovely-Hairdresser-From-Hell (but specialised in colour) turns me into Pamela Anderson (shame - without the adds on, said Lovely Cheezy Hubby), while she's getting me drunk.
"Given the price you paid, they could have added caviar and a few adds-on (stupid ref to Pamela...)"
Thanks Darling, why don't you just go and pack your suitcase. That will be slightly more helpful. (hint)
Mind you - Lovely Hairdresser from Hell is not as bad as one of my friend's who decided that on the day she had an appointment, 'no, I won't cut your hair today, it's not right'. (voice over - Julian Clary- location: push Surrey town). So she left the hairdresser, without a haircut but a new bottle of shampoo costing her £100. A big one she said (at that price, I buy a few big bottles...)
Anyway - next day, off to Rome, mid afternoon.
So turned up at Gatwick early (you never know, the plane could decide to take off early, before deciding to be highjacked, and then deciding to run out of fuel, and then to explode above the mountains, and then deciding to re-materialise before landing safely - thank God). You get a picture of the state of mind
Had lunch at the SeaFood bar (no room at any other inn - what a good excuse!! to spend a few more £££, I know). Brilliant waiter - a bit like 'the Godfather': same accent, a good 40 years younger. Anyway - was Sicilian. That explains about the Godfather. Sat down next to Sharon Stone (Ok - look a like, but blimey, she looked good for her age). She was off to Palma.
Then off on the plane (decided not to do any of the above: ie, was on time, did not get highjacked or anything, which was a bonus). What a laugh when we got on the plane - Julian Clary was the pilot, his brother the copilot and his cousin the stewart. I swear, nothing to do with the few glasses from the Seafood bar, nor the G&Ts on the plane (after all the trip was to celebrate Cheezy-Lovely-Hubby's new decade. And no, he is not 30, whatever he thinks).
A split second before we are ordered to switch off phones otherwise the radars of the plane will go wrong and we will end up in Vladivostok or crash on the Himalaya, the phone rings. Super-Friend-From-Manchester-But-Who-Lives-Down-South (now she knows who she is!!!) on the phone: Other-Half -to-be finally proposed!!!! brilliant, made my week end. I expect in a few years time she will be writing a 'working mum blog, inlcudijng outlaws and inlaws, Lovely-Cop-Hubby and so on', which I'll enjoy reading while I would have moved on to 'a-guide-on-how-to-live-with-teenagers'.
Won't bore you with all the details about Rome, but in a nutshell: Brilliant time - Vatican City (did not see the Pope, apparently he was busy praying for all of us, bless him, as long as he prays for the right things). Plus his special audiences are on Wednesdays (says the tourist guide. With another 5,000 people. Cool).
Anyway - saw the best ever paintings, statues and everything. Probably enough money there to solve the current crisis. But what do I know.
Anyway (2) - all I'd say is that by the end of the week end, I looked like a pizza-stuffed-Pamela-Anderson (blond as ever, so now working on the Essex accent, and if you imagine a pile of pizzas the size of Big Ben - well - that's what I ate the whole week end...)
Anyway (3) went to the best restaurant ever, with Marcello Mastroiani as the waiter. Showed us proudly the pictures from his 2 kids - Omar (after Omar Sharif) and Rachida (did not say from who). Told us we were his best friends, and he was from Egypt. I told him I was Sophia Loren and Cheezy-Lovely-Hubby was Pierce Brosnan. Isn't he???
So - now back home. Pierce Brosnan watching TV, and me, well, trying to shorten the ever increasing list of things to do before the girls come back on Saturday... from photos (for the last 2 years) to put in album (where the hell are they??) to organise summer holiday... so that will be another blog!!!
As for recipes... I know one I don't want to share: Strawberry Meringue Roulade. Not helped by the fact that I replaced the strawberries with orange curd (why not?) and started baking at 10.00pm. not a good idea. And Nigella was busy (cow). So went onto plan C - Waitrose.
Over to the next time!
Monday 6 April 2009
the working mum - half on holiday
Guess which half of me is on holiday for the next 2 weeks? the mum or the worker??? well here we go. SuperGrandParentsFromFrance are looking after the girls for the next 2 weeks. So that we can relax and have a week end in Rome. So the Mum-side of me is on holiday. Well - should be.
So the 2 weeks from Heaven started on Saturday morning, when at the Eurostar terminal, the French Police said to Fille Ainee- be nice to your mum (she always is - and so is Tinker Bell too!). By the way, isn't it nice to travel with your older sister?! (yes - you are right - that was me. daaaaaaaaaaaaaarling). Although after checking - I realised that I had actually 2 massive humongous suitcases under baggy eyes living on last night's lack of make up remover...
And a few hours later, as I set up to travel back from Lille after dropping the girls, the guy checking the tickets at the Eurostar terminal goes - Here we go Miss, have a lovely journeyAnd then he saw my rings as I am handing the passports over - sorry Madam, he goes, did not realise, but you look so young! (daaaaaaaaaaaaaarling #2). So decided it was all a copmliment, nothing to do with the fact that I probably looked like a Goth zombie. I love the French, they know how to lie (or are they blind?!).
Then, spent the weekend gardening - just like a true Brit! So after a week end like this, I probably quialify for fast track British citizenship. Fixing the net over the vegetable patch (which only produces uneadible vegetables, which we have to pretend are great), spraying the lawn (so that it looks a bit more like an English lawn, rather than its French counterpart - but it clearly does not respond to a French Not So Green Hand...), varnishing kitchen work surfaces (great -it b*** stinks in the whole house...) so basically, by end of the week end, Cheezy Lovely Hubby (that's his new name - cheezy by nature, guess about the rest) and I feel that we live in a chemicals plant - lovely Home Sweet Home as been transformed in Fumes From Chernobyl. But at least, we did our bit to help Air Products sales, as hopefully the chemicals used are the ones we sell (except the ones we sell are not meant to make you feel sick. So obviously I have been subsidising our competitors. Damned).
Anyway - I decided this blog is not just going to be about me. If you are going to have the patience to read this blurb, you might as well get something back - that's my little present to you- I'll share with you some of my recipes - and promise, they won't include snails (yuk) or frogs (double yuk) - and I'll translate some French ones. Lucky you!!
And you'll soon understand why the French were glad I did not cross the Channel back - not worthy of living there!! don't drink wine, don't like coffee, hate snails and frogs - clearly that was enough to convince them to give me a one way ticket!!). Actually - I like champagne (daaaaaaaaaaaarling #3).
So - a brilliant recipe I'll share with you today - the Lemon Drizzle Cake. Dead Easy. The perfect one for that time when it gets to 11.00pm, and you suddenly remember that tomorrow is cake sale at school, that a colleague at work said - i have been a good girl today, can I have cakes tomorrow (now, she will know who she is!!!), and you promised to bake for a friend. So you need a quick fast brilliant "can't get it wrong" recipe. 3 solutions:
1- Hire Nigella Lawson - good luck at that time of the night.
2- Prove yourself You can be Domestic Goddess (http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/womanshour/food/recipe19.shtml
3- go to your nearest 24hour a day Tesco / Sainsbury....
and before you switch off - I'll share with you my favourite Blog. Sorry, it's in French and I can't garantee what you'll read on the day - but that girl is simply brilliant. She was even interviewed recently by British papers (and the quality ones). Try it- maybe while the cake is cooking... http://www.penelope-jolicoeur.com/
Have a lovely day / evening! I'll be back soon. Clearly, being on half holiday, I have no excuses for not blogging!
So the 2 weeks from Heaven started on Saturday morning, when at the Eurostar terminal, the French Police said to Fille Ainee- be nice to your mum (she always is - and so is Tinker Bell too!). By the way, isn't it nice to travel with your older sister?! (yes - you are right - that was me. daaaaaaaaaaaaaarling). Although after checking - I realised that I had actually 2 massive humongous suitcases under baggy eyes living on last night's lack of make up remover...
And a few hours later, as I set up to travel back from Lille after dropping the girls, the guy checking the tickets at the Eurostar terminal goes - Here we go Miss, have a lovely journeyAnd then he saw my rings as I am handing the passports over - sorry Madam, he goes, did not realise, but you look so young! (daaaaaaaaaaaaaarling #2). So decided it was all a copmliment, nothing to do with the fact that I probably looked like a Goth zombie. I love the French, they know how to lie (or are they blind?!).
Then, spent the weekend gardening - just like a true Brit! So after a week end like this, I probably quialify for fast track British citizenship. Fixing the net over the vegetable patch (which only produces uneadible vegetables, which we have to pretend are great), spraying the lawn (so that it looks a bit more like an English lawn, rather than its French counterpart - but it clearly does not respond to a French Not So Green Hand...), varnishing kitchen work surfaces (great -it b*** stinks in the whole house...) so basically, by end of the week end, Cheezy Lovely Hubby (that's his new name - cheezy by nature, guess about the rest) and I feel that we live in a chemicals plant - lovely Home Sweet Home as been transformed in Fumes From Chernobyl. But at least, we did our bit to help Air Products sales, as hopefully the chemicals used are the ones we sell (except the ones we sell are not meant to make you feel sick. So obviously I have been subsidising our competitors. Damned).
Anyway - I decided this blog is not just going to be about me. If you are going to have the patience to read this blurb, you might as well get something back - that's my little present to you- I'll share with you some of my recipes - and promise, they won't include snails (yuk) or frogs (double yuk) - and I'll translate some French ones. Lucky you!!
And you'll soon understand why the French were glad I did not cross the Channel back - not worthy of living there!! don't drink wine, don't like coffee, hate snails and frogs - clearly that was enough to convince them to give me a one way ticket!!). Actually - I like champagne (daaaaaaaaaaaarling #3).
So - a brilliant recipe I'll share with you today - the Lemon Drizzle Cake. Dead Easy. The perfect one for that time when it gets to 11.00pm, and you suddenly remember that tomorrow is cake sale at school, that a colleague at work said - i have been a good girl today, can I have cakes tomorrow (now, she will know who she is!!!), and you promised to bake for a friend. So you need a quick fast brilliant "can't get it wrong" recipe. 3 solutions:
1- Hire Nigella Lawson - good luck at that time of the night.
2- Prove yourself You can be Domestic Goddess (http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/womanshour/food/recipe19.shtml
3- go to your nearest 24hour a day Tesco / Sainsbury....
and before you switch off - I'll share with you my favourite Blog. Sorry, it's in French and I can't garantee what you'll read on the day - but that girl is simply brilliant. She was even interviewed recently by British papers (and the quality ones). Try it- maybe while the cake is cooking... http://www.penelope-jolicoeur.com/
Have a lovely day / evening! I'll be back soon. Clearly, being on half holiday, I have no excuses for not blogging!
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