Oh. My. God. 3 months. Without writing on this blog. Imagine the poor girls at work - had to listen to all the mayhem that happened over the last 3 months... Rather than reading it.
So what happened? well, slightly busy. But managed to find time to go on holiday, back to French 'roots' . Went for walks, ate the local cheeses (how to please CheezyHubby...), drunk the local plonk (how to please CheezyHubby even more, who at that point also started to talk the local language...). Next day - walked up the mountain, lovely. Except ended up with my left hand the size of a boxing glove. How very sexy. Not. Why on earth do we need Horsefly...
And on the way down, 5 cows decided that they shoudl also go to the top of the mountain and decided they should stop there, right in the middle of the path, and nowhere else to go. What was it I heard on Radio 4 before the hols?? Cows can start charging you??? Oh great... so we decided to take the British approach. Wait and see who gets bored first. We did. We finally decided to pluck up some courage and bravely walk (no run!!) passed them. But they were massive, certainly not the small, fit variety. They also wear bells, and big ones. So as soon as they start moving, all you hear in Gling, Gling. And it gets louder the faster they go (or is that because they are getting closer???). Suddenly, FilleAinee, in a tembling voice: "Mummyyyyyyyy, mummyyyyyyyyyy." "Darling, don't panic, we will be fine." "No, Mummyyyyyyyy, look!!!" I turned around, while trying still to eye the cows (or was it a bull) to....... No, not the cow, but FilleAinee's 2 feet deep in the biggest smelliest puddle of cow pow. Great... that will be nice in the car!! By the way, the jury is still out about that youngest one: if they don't look too happy and have a ring in their nose, aren't they a bull?? Did not really have time to check....
Following day, all tourists (that's us!!) were invited by the village to try the local food. Brilliant marketing. Especially when at the end they passed glasses. TinkerBell, who had been dancing furiously all evening to the local Robbie Williams turned really thirsty, grabbed a glass and bottomed up before we could say 'cheers'. She thought it was water. And it was not. It was the local 75degres liquor. Best way to ensure your children will never be alcoholics.
I have been behaving at home too... Remember the time when the baking powder spread itself all over the kitchen? well... I managed to repeat that. Except this time with a brand new pot of 'hundreds and thousands' - and I now know why they are called like that, although I think I sould have called it 'millions and trillions'. Bloody thing - 3 weeks later, I still find some in corners (I suspect the local mouse to get some out every now and again, just to drive me nuts). But they not just went in the whole kitchen. Also in the lovely, just perfectly cooked, roast chicken. I guess I could claim I have invented a new recipe. But can't claim it's edible... (although CheezyHubby and the girls still have not found an explanation of why the chicken had funny colours... told them it was a special breed, which only eat rainbows. or LSD.
Been to M&S today - to get slimming underwear. The Bridget Jones types. I know, too much information... Sorry...So got to the till, and here we go, quickly, hoping that noone wil notice. Until GrannyDoreen (it's her name, that's what it said on the label) puts them through and shouts: 'I've got those too, love, they are great - although they don't get rid of the problem in the first place.' Great, carry on love... Got home, fought trying to put it on, broke 2 nails (actually wondered how on earth anyone can breathe in that) to hear - are those cycling shorts? not really sexy. No they are not, and no they are not meant to be. So why buying them? I wonder. They go back to tomorrow. Hoping that GrannyDoreen won't be on the exchange till...
Also had a trip to A&E (the biannual one, thanks girls. I am sure there are other ways of meeting all the docs on call...). FilleAinee bumped her head and split it open (or it looked like it had done). Anyway - was not that bad in the end. Question in the waiting room: Can you see my brain? Do you think I will die? (do I faint at that point? no - I'll wait when the doc is there. Probably safer. We never know, it could be MrSexy who turns up?!!) Behave...
Anyway - until the next post, hopefully before another 3 months - I'd better go and get a speech written. And it can't involve Hundreds and Thousands, cows or Bridget Jones (nor her underwear). It's for Dad......
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